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Please submit your limousine related jokes to: russ@lancashirelimos.co.uk and we will publish the best limmo jokes as they arrive!!!!!

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Limo Jokes page


What's In Your Limo?

A limousine had encountered a red traffic light and was waiting for it to change when a small mini also drives up. The haughty businessman into he back of the limousine started bragging to the mini owner.

"This is the best limo that money can buy. It has ABS, airbags for all passengers, automatic climate control, onboard computer control system, photo chromatic glass, mini bar, a television with satellite dish embedded in the roof, blah blah blah..."

At this point the mini owner interrupted.

"But do you have a video in there?"

The light changed just then, and the limo driver pulled off. The businessman in back felt a bit down that he didn't have this simple item, and that very day had one installed in the limo.

A few days passed, and again the limo was at a traffic light when the businessman spotted the mini. It was pulled over to a side, with the glass all steamed up, and steam coming from a half open window. Upon seeing this, the businessman got out of his car and knocked on the window of the mini. After a few moments, the mini owner poked his head out.

"I installed a VCR in my limo," said the businessman proudly.

"What!?!' the mini-man responded. "You got me out of the shower for THAT?"

 

Important Man

The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel. The Pope proceeds onto HWY 95, and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the blue lights of the State Police in his mirror. He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. The trooper, seeing who it was, says, "Just a moment please, I need to call in." The trooper calls in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief that he's got a REALLY important person pulled over, and asks how he should handle it. "It's not Ted Kennedy again is it?" replies the chief. "No Sir!" replied the trooper, "This guy's more important." "Is it the Governor?" replied the chief. "No! Even more important!" replies the trooper. "Is it the PRESIDENT??? replied the chief. "No! Even more important!" replies the trooper. "Well WHO is it?" screams the chief. "I don't know Sir." replies the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur."

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